*snow bird* (myownepicdrama) wrote,
*snow bird*
myownepicdrama

brush ya shoulders off-

i had a really really nice birthday weekend
thank you to everyone that cares and was there to share with me

i think the more that changes in my life the more i come to appreciate the things and the people that are consistant
i just thank God that my aunt is Ok
shes been there for me through some of the toughest times i love her and my whole family with all my heart

mike sent me the prettiest flowers on friday, then saturday it was nice to have a little bbq with people that cared. sunday was just one of those days i will never forget
mike took me for a pedicure/manicure, then we had the best lunch at the macaroni grill, the food, the drink the dessert, it was all amazing i loved the whole atmosphere of that place
but none of it compared to my company
we had such a good time and we have such good conversation-
i swear i still have a crush on that guy
i feel like the luckiest girl on the world being able to fall asleep next to him and waking up in his arms
i wouldnt change a thing
a lot has changed and i tried and i tried to save the relationships i thought were worth saving but there is only so much i can do-
it has to be mutual and it wasnt anymore
i can only offer so many unanswered invitations
it hurt me at first cause i thought a few of those relationships were gonna last forever
but this all happened for a reason
i havent figured it out yet
and i am where i am now because of some of those friendships...
and i am thankful for that

i was hurt when no one gave a shit that i got a promotion and a raise at work
i work my fucking ass off
i wake up at the butt crack of dawn
all i wanted to do was celebrate and go eat-and as i walked in everyone walked out
and it hurt
made me feel so fucking dispensable
but i'm not
-brush ya shoulders off-
i have to be one of the luckiest girls ever
and thats because i have the power to overcome a lot
and i have and i will continue to
i learn from everything that life throws my way
i dont dwell on it and feel sorry for myself
i love my life
i love mike
i love our life
he makes me glow inside
i swear he still makes me fucking giddy
hes my whole heart
i love with with all my guts
and the best part is that i know he loves me just as much
and hes proud of that and he needs me just as much as i need him
i love my life and my family and my mikey
i have to much love in my heart and my life to hold any grudges or resentment
i've done all i can
all my anger comes from hurt-
it hurt
but i'm so glad that i have someone to listen to me every time i get down all i have to do is look at him and i know its ok cause what we have is what some people spend their whole lives trying to find-
so there it was
a lot of shit i never had the nerve to tell people to their face
it hurt
you guys hurt me
i wish we were at the point where i was getting phone calls being asked about how my review went that day-instead i had to invite and let people know what was going on- i know it was last minute all i wanted us to do is to all be together as a group again -just go eat but you were too busy and going to a club, i need to get this shit out its been building up inside for a long time
it hurt
it feels better now that its out
its getting a little gloomy around here-
i need my sunshine
he makes it all better
and i know he needs me so i'm gonna try to make whatever is bothering him feel better too-
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