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Thursday, August 26th, 2004
7:23 am - i hope this reeks of my indifference....
What a crazy year!

My life has changed so much in the past year its freaking crazy
i've been informed i lost all my scene points

i'm all growns up and i'm all growns up

i had to call my mommy yesterday to tell her i was so stressed i needed to talk to her and by the time she called back i was all better-

i drove for like 5 mins with my back windshield wiper on cause i couldnt figure out how to turn it off
i was so embarrassed! i actually had to pull over and read the manual
i love my little car
so exciting!
The biggest and best suprise ever!
I cried! I dont know if i cried cause i was so excited or i was in disbelief cause you actully did this for me without hesitating
without me ever asking for anything
it was so spur of the moment not planned
i cant believe we did it!
you just did it for me
amazing
First place we went was Hooters
fun fun fun
we ventured off to JT's after
glad there wasnt any trouble makers there this time
even when you try to leave all the over dramatic people they still find a way to cause drama
we didnt stay long
just smuggled out some popcorn
"i heard its so good here"
and went home
missed all the action at morgan's
SO GLAD!

we had one of those drunken/stoned heart to heart talks last night and it was amazing
its amazing how people choose to complicate their lives
its even more amazing that i have someone so wonderful in my life that loves me just as much as i love him
it works so much better that way
he does things for me without hesitation and i do the same for him
we always have a good time
even at 5 am singing as loud as we can
even at 5 am cashing in our chips
even at 5 am when you hit snooze 500 times
i'm so in love with that man
and i still get weird little butterflies
i still have a crush on your fine ass
the way you make me laugh
the way you make me dinner
the way you carry my drunk ass up the stairs
i still remember the night at that hotel party when you ripped that gross scab off my knee
EW
now its me taking care of that gross scab on your arm
EW
it was so damn scary to see you fall like that
i'm in such a good mood
but i am every morning i get to wake up next to you
it just works cause thats the way we want it
i love you
you love me
i trust you
you trust me
its all there and its amazing
and sometimes i do have to take a step back just to take it all in
i never thought i could be this happy
but i think thats just cause i never believed i deserved to be this happy
but i do and you do too
and i'm gonna do all i can every day to make you happy and i know you will do the same


okay i'm really busy but i finally got a second to come on for the first time in forever!

(6 kisses | kiss me hard)

Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
7:33 am - It's been a while...
LAME....

"But I'm just a baby!"
I don't care if I'm not the youngest I'm the baby!

I see nothing has changed....

you got what you wanted now your gonna get what you deserve

"hang on let me take the leash off my cat"

is it a million degrees hotter at Angel Stadium?
"Stacy did you really just invite him here!?!"
Loves it!

Hello scrumptious!
Best Time at the river ever!
We won $475 playing roulette!
Red Bull and jaggermeister (no clue how to spell that) til 5 am


So we got approached to do a reality show last week in Uptown, we kindly declined but Mike asked the vital questions......
"How does the dog choose?"

We had a nice little BBQ saturday, just be sure to ask for your ribs medium rare.....
"There was no meat left!! It was only ash on the bone!"

I really like the Ashlee Simpson CD
Sorry Megan, I meant A S I know she was our little secret!
"Dez, you don't really like Ashlee Simpson, that goes against everything you believe in!"
haha

Turn around this weekend
Pimp Juice time
and some Sublimes-approved by Lou Dogg of course
and maybe a Lachey or two or 17
Keep the Bloody Mary's away from me!

I really hope you got the rest you needed cause that was a nasty and scary fall...
"But wasn't it the sickest whip ever?"
F*ck yeah it was!
Mom is my best buddy ever!

My zipper broke!

the dumb lady cut my finger twice!

Um yeah that burn mark there is PERMANENT!

Please research and advise....
blah

Madden 2005

Should we really have a TV that big?
Its like driving a junky car with a nice stereo-

I love you
I love you too

You're my best buddy

Im the champ

puke a saurus rex
the morning puker

we have the "long-distancy" it takes

(2 kisses | kiss me hard)

Monday, July 12th, 2004
8:25 pm - pieces, pieces...
Pieces of me...
haha
f all you
i like ashlee simpson
its been way long since ive updated i've been so busy at work
i worked 7-5:30 today i've had long days like that for a few weeks now
i love my weekends, its so nice to sleep in
wow how shit has changed since last summer
last summer was so much fun
this summer is just as great but in so many different ways for so many different reasons
we're going back to the lake this weekend
im the fucking roulette queen!
another turn around coming up, and vegas
i cant wait!
a hawaii trip in the works for december/january

so many times i've wished that i had a chance to update and now that i do im sitting here with no idea what to write

i have a lot to write but i think i've lost the willingness to share it with no one and everyone at the same time
yeah i think i have

anyway i love i love the 90's
my right boob is sunburned
i have a huge bruise on my right thigh
i cut my hair on saturday, like 2 inches
my brother is grossing me out hes telling me like 3453245 gross and scary stories
the fuck finally got a J O B im so proud of him!

ok so i've lost interest in this tonight...
i just lost a little bit of respect for hova
i just saw the mariah carey video for that old heartbreaker song and he had a little rappy rap in it oh jigga what were you thinking

i love my new haircut
i love my new purse
i love my boyfriend
i wish he wasnt gone
i just want to fall asleep next to him
and wake up next to him
or wake up in the middle of the night cause hes hugging me
or he just farted and it smells so stinky it woke me up
i hate laundry
we just got a nice new tv, by default
we kinda got stuck with it
but hey we got a new tv
look for me competing on espn ocho racing next year
haha
this is so random and pointless
i love rubio's street tacos

i'm so hot
i wish i was in the mood to write

(2 kisses | kiss me hard)

Monday, June 7th, 2004
6:08 pm - PS
DONT EVER EVER EVER EVER SHOP AT MENS WAREHOUSE!
mike bought a DKNY suit there and they charged us 55 dollars for alterations that they didnt do!

and another cool thing i forgot to mention..
when they annouced us at the wedding the theme from the sopranos was playing.. how dope is that!!

(kiss me hard)

6:00 pm - tire la leche
dave chapelle was so funny last night
i'm so glad we ended up going
thanks so much mark
it would have been better if you were there!

so the wedding
the fucking wedding that i have been talking about for a year is over and done
and it was absolutely amazing
so yeah i was in an elevator with rashid wallace
we pretty much saw the entire team all weekend
the hotel as amazing
everyone looked so beautiful, my mom, my aunt, my nana, the kids were adorable
lulu was flawless of course
got drunk of the dom perignon on the way to the reception
we had lobster and filet mignon
so many silent g's
now thats class
i loved my hair and make up
mike and i danced all night long
i really will remeber that night forever
it was sooooooooooo much fun

we did have drama friday night though with mikes suit and my dress it wasnt ready til about 11 on saturday and i had to be ready at umm... 1!!! i was freaking out but I knew mike wouldnt let me down

it was the best weekend ever
i miss everyone
love you guys!

(1 kiss | kiss me hard)

8:11 am - BEST WEEKEND EVER!
the wedding was beautiful
the reception was beautiful
mike was the hottest guy there
the freakin pistons were staying at the same hotel!
saw all those tall tall tall boys

it was so incredible

chapelle last night was hilarious!

everything was wonderful
i got another raise and promotion friday
i'm so nervous
mike got a raise too!
gtg!

(kiss me hard)

Tuesday, June 1st, 2004
7:38 am - june-o you want this
i love kevin and bean
i love ralph more

my stomach hates me

holy moly only 4 days til the wedding
mike got a dope DKNY suit
he looks so hot in it
of course my dress is still too big

we had a very nice weekend
got a lot done
hung out with everyone
which was a lot of fun
i miss that and we should do it more often

pineapple malibu rum is heaven sent

oh man my stomach hates me

diary is such a trippy book
chuck is amazing

dodgers vs. yankees this month
cant wait
tom gets such dope seats
i've already used "dope" twice today
weird

this saturday is gonna be like prom!
haha i'm so excited
the reception is at the regent beverly wilshire
thats where they filmed pretty woman!

i'm already coming down from my coffee high
it was so nice sleeping in for 3 whole days

work time..
be back in a bit
its so nice not being busy!

(kiss me hard)

Friday, May 21st, 2004
7:21 am - today is friday!
you know what that means-

i had a perfect morning
but the worst night ever!

thank god mike was there to calm my world
and make it all better
everyone was crazy last night!
everyone still is crazy
up until i picked him up i thought i was gonna go crazy
i could have sworn that some one was playing a trick on me and was recording me

today we all brought stuff to make nachos at lunch
i made salsa and brought guac-
my mouth is so excited but my stomach is dreading it-

the weekend is almost here and the thing that i'm most excited about is sleeping in with mike

tonight is melindas suprise party and i'm excited about that too!

we watched the american idol auditions last night and oh so funny

last night when i picked up mike everything really did feel better
he is so on my side and it feels so good
i love that man with all my heart

so melinda is leaving today and its pretty sad
but shes better off at her new job

ok only 6.5 hours to go!

(2 kisses | kiss me hard)

Thursday, May 20th, 2004
7:12 am
what a perfect morning

lets see how the rest of the day goes..........

(kiss me hard)

Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
2:27 pm - we aint getting no younger
i just love you...

i love you!

you do?

DUH!?!

do you promise or do you prrrrrrrrr...?


la la la la la
warm it up...

all that food put me in a good mood!

i love ordering stuff from the internet and catalogs-

my nails are growing and they look good

my hair is finally getting long and its finally my color again

i'm finally getting in shape

i'm in love

i'm loved

i have someone that makes me happy

i make someone happy

i have been drinking more water

i want a new purse

i scratched my phone

i wanna see shrek 2

i'm excited about the wedding

i'm nervous about the wedding

i gotta pee again

i have the hiccups

when i hear people whisper im always afraid its about me

i'm excited about melindas surprise party friday

i'm trying so hard not to ruin the suprise

i miss mike

this day is going by too slow

panda inn has good orange chicken
and walnut shrimp

i had sushi last night

i miss mike

i have a lot of work to do

i have not had one out of balance since i took this desk over zhank you bedy much
yes zhank you
that wasnt a typo

i cant wait for this weekend
then i cant wait for the 3 day weekend after that
fun fun fun

i like that part of the usher song when he says
"when she gets low, i'm like yah"
i think thats what he says

i left my water in the damn freezer too long
i took an hour lunch

my nana bought us new chairs for the house and it looks so cute
i need my bathroom sink fixed

i miss mike

i ordered the cutest shirt today
i gotta work now
i miss mike

is it bad that when i hear about people that are unhappy that it makes me smile for a second cause once upon a time they hurt me

"i hope your as happy as your pretending"
that was the first dashboard quote in a long time
you need one every now and then or your LJ gets deleted

new nfg

(kiss me hard)

7:16 am - i just love you...
woo woo
today is michelle's b day and we are off to panda for lunch and i'm so excited!

i think i'm nuts

i feel so weird right now
i miss mike
i drank too much coffee
i'm sad cause melinda is leaving
my stomach hurts
and i'm excited to have panda for lunch
wtf? is it possible to feel all those things at once?
plus i gotta pee
i'm just a ticking time bomb today!

what did i do before text messages?

i am nuts

i like the weather lately

i'm excited for memorial day
a day to "member"

what is wrong with the world?
i watched bowling for columbine again
i'm moving to canada
or france
so i can ride a scooter everywhere
and not shave my arm pits
hahaha!
be back in a bit

(kiss me hard)

Monday, May 17th, 2004
7:20 am - you have to go drop your brother's friends off?
That was the quote of the weekend-
that was mikes question after McCrory told him to had to go home to drop the kids off!
haha
i swear not a day goes by that i dont crack up laughing with him
i dont know what i'd do without him
he had to work friday night which was weird and it sucked and it was cool all at the same time
we got to go to lunch together and he hung out after i got off but the poor guy worked from 5pm to 2am
and i was so cold in bed til he got home

this week in melindas last week and thats pretty sucky
shes my buddy! my gym buddy
my giggling buddy
my "HELP ME WHAT DO I DO?" buddy
my lets pig out at lunch buddy,while everyone else counts their points
we're having a suprise party for her at her house on friday
kinda strange

I found a new place for my pedicures/manicures
i love it, they do parrafin on your hands and give you a full on massage
its only a few dollars more but way worth it I'm so hooked

work is going so much better
even though its way hectic with melinda leaving
i'm getting another raise! woo woo!
my supervisor gave me a heads up i have a meeting with the boss boss lady today
kinda scared but i look cute so its ok!

heard a few stories this weekend and it amazes me that some people never change and they continue to make their own lives miserable

i am so content with mine and the decisions i have made
so proud that although it was hard i thought of me first and look where it got me
i have the most wonderful boyfriend ever
we are getting on the right track to building our lives together
hes doing really well at work
hes just out of town too much
i miss him so much when hes gone
and he always seems to leave on laundry day.....
hmm...

i am in complete disbelief that the wedding is only 3 weeks away
its so exciting!

me and mike bought those big ab workout ball things
and of course ryan already has a black eye from bouncing off of it
he told me i broke his face
so me and mike are gonna have abs of steel at havasu this year
haha yeah right if we can actually stop throwing the balls at eachother and actually work out!

it was a fun weekend
go lakers!
a few folks came over to watch the game it was fun as usual
bbq master mike cooked up some yummy meat
then yesterday we watched the wierdest episode of the sopranos ever!
then we watched the damn charles manson story
i was so freaked out!
we ate at every restuarant in whittier this weekend!
good times
but now its work time
i miss all you guys!
miss me too!

(7 kisses | kiss me hard)

Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
8:00 pm - i hate reality tv
i hate that stupid swan show
i hate that stupid show about different families trying to adopt the same baby
we are sick

so coachella was super hot
met lots of cool people
saw lots of fun familiar faces


wait i dont hate all reality tv
amrican idol has me once again this year
i'm at my moms and her keyboard sucks
so excuse the typos

i dont know why but i dont know what to type
i'm in a really good mood
despite the fact that my sunshine is gone once again
but he'll be home tomorrow
i love the comfort and security he adds to my life

it was fun seeing dea, laura, andre, bobby, dez and everyone else at coachella

i joined vinces yousuckirule.com
so add me
my user name is DEZperate
its still confusing to me

i love happy music
tonight on american idol theyre singing big band music and i love it
and i think its only because i'm so happy
if i wasnt happy it would probably be getting on my nerves
on this day last year
i posted
"fuck everyone
i'm in a shitty mood"
geez how things have changed
i honestly cant believe how lucky i am
things seemed really shitty but the bad weeded it self out
i'm glad i stuck up for myself
i'm glad i took a stand and a big chance
big risks have big payoffs

i love this damn big band night on american idol
the way you look tonight is such an amazing song
i'm starting to get excited for the wedding
the coachella money is really gonna help out
i'm gonna look hot and im gonna have the hottest fucking date there

ugh my moms dryer is taking forever

i hate the whole "seacrest out" thi
if i ever see ryan seacrest i'm gonna punch him and
say "seacrest just got knocked the Fuck out"
good night i want to go to sleep so it can be tommorow
tomorrow is drinko de mayo
and the finale of the oc and of course my baby is coming home!

(kiss me hard)

Friday, April 30th, 2004
7:25 am - long days short nights....
i really wish i could just lay in bed and be lazy all day next to mike

casual friday was called off today because we have a huge client coming in
boo-urns
i love wearing my sandals to work
but that means next week thursday and friday will both be casual days

poor mike worked 14 hours yesterday
i'm so proud of him he works so hard
hes such a good man

coachella is this weekend
and even though im gonna be working
i'm really really looking forward to it
looking forward to seeing a lot of people that
i havent seen in a while
making some money that is really gonna help out for the wedding of the century
thats coming up so quickly
not looking forward to being away from mike
he was away for 6 weeks now the first week hes back i leave for the weekend
oh well just one weekend we have a million more together to look forward to

i did not want to get out of bed this morning
i was so warm in his arms
i'm getting sleepy just thinking of how perfect that moment was

i miss my mommy feels like i havent seen her in forever
i'm letting work stress get to me too much again
so instead of using this time to work i'll update my journal and stress out later!
haha
i love this warm weather
i love baseball season
i love dodger games in the summer
warm summer nights are the best

(2 kisses | kiss me hard)

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004
7:23 am - all that no one sees...
you see deep inside of me..

went to yet another dodger game last night and had yet another 7 dollar beer
and mike and i had a blast
no matter what we do we always manage to make it fun
he cracks me up
hes everything i gave up looking for
hes everything i didnt think existed
and i'm so glad hes in my life
i look at him sometimes and i cant believe how lucky i am to have this beautiful person in my life
i get to fall asleep in his arms everynight
i always have someone that will listen
gotta work
i'm way busy but i got mike on the brain

coachella this weekend
time to make some mooooooooooola
its gonna be way hot
and our tent is like 3 times the size it usually is
i'm excited!

(kiss me hard)

Monday, April 26th, 2004
1:50 pm
ps
i'm really glad i achieved my goal on saturday night of "getting drunk enough to tell mark i missed him"
cause i do and i dont want to anymore

(5 kisses | kiss me hard)

1:20 pm - i got you all on check
woo ha
yay
mikey mike is coming home and hes staying
i'm so excited
i slept so good last night i fell asleep in his arms and i woke up in the same spot
i'm all giddy inside
we had such a good weekend
i'm so in love with him
i think its the first time i've felt real true love
and to me in my eyes the thing that makes it real and true is the fact that i know he loves me just as much as i love him
we have so much fun together
yayyayayayayyayay

(2 kisses | kiss me hard)

7:56 am
what a great fucking weekend
saturday was the bridal shower-good times
saturday night at dez's was so much fun!
yesterday mike and i had the most perfect sunday
i love him so much
and he loves me
and i love it!
i miss nights like saturday!
i miss everyone!
work time
byeeeeeeeeee

(2 kisses | kiss me hard)

Monday, April 12th, 2004
9:14 pm - brush ya shoulders off-
i had a really really nice birthday weekend
thank you to everyone that cares and was there to share with me

i think the more that changes in my life the more i come to appreciate the things and the people that are consistant
i just thank God that my aunt is Ok
shes been there for me through some of the toughest times i love her and my whole family with all my heart

mike sent me the prettiest flowers on friday, then saturday it was nice to have a little bbq with people that cared. sunday was just one of those days i will never forget
mike took me for a pedicure/manicure, then we had the best lunch at the macaroni grill, the food, the drink the dessert, it was all amazing i loved the whole atmosphere of that place
but none of it compared to my company
we had such a good time and we have such good conversation-
i swear i still have a crush on that guy
i feel like the luckiest girl on the world being able to fall asleep next to him and waking up in his arms
i wouldnt change a thing
a lot has changed and i tried and i tried to save the relationships i thought were worth saving but there is only so much i can do-
it has to be mutual and it wasnt anymore
i can only offer so many unanswered invitations
it hurt me at first cause i thought a few of those relationships were gonna last forever
but this all happened for a reason
i havent figured it out yet
and i am where i am now because of some of those friendships...
and i am thankful for that

i was hurt when no one gave a shit that i got a promotion and a raise at work
i work my fucking ass off
i wake up at the butt crack of dawn
all i wanted to do was celebrate and go eat-and as i walked in everyone walked out
and it hurt
made me feel so fucking dispensable
but i'm not
-brush ya shoulders off-
i have to be one of the luckiest girls ever
and thats because i have the power to overcome a lot
and i have and i will continue to
i learn from everything that life throws my way
i dont dwell on it and feel sorry for myself
i love my life
i love mike
i love our life
he makes me glow inside
i swear he still makes me fucking giddy
hes my whole heart
i love with with all my guts
and the best part is that i know he loves me just as much
and hes proud of that and he needs me just as much as i need him
i love my life and my family and my mikey
i have to much love in my heart and my life to hold any grudges or resentment
i've done all i can
all my anger comes from hurt-
it hurt
but i'm so glad that i have someone to listen to me every time i get down all i have to do is look at him and i know its ok cause what we have is what some people spend their whole lives trying to find-
so there it was
a lot of shit i never had the nerve to tell people to their face
it hurt
you guys hurt me
i wish we were at the point where i was getting phone calls being asked about how my review went that day-instead i had to invite and let people know what was going on- i know it was last minute all i wanted us to do is to all be together as a group again -just go eat but you were too busy and going to a club, i need to get this shit out its been building up inside for a long time
it hurt
it feels better now that its out
its getting a little gloomy around here-
i need my sunshine
he makes it all better
and i know he needs me so i'm gonna try to make whatever is bothering him feel better too-

(5 kisses | kiss me hard)

Friday, March 26th, 2004
9:46 am
i just listened to a cd that brought a piece of my heart back to life that i thought was dead

i wish i had more time to talk about it

music is amazing

(1 kiss | kiss me hard)

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